Maintaining Wellness During the Holidays Step #2: Choices Are In YOUR Control!

In my last piece, I provided a general overview of maintaining wellness during the holidays and discussed the first step: identifying the impediments to maintaining wellness. Step 2 to maintaining wellness is choices. Why? Because maintenance is within your control and your choices dictate how you encounter, decide, and determine what your next move is. Some people like to say, "this is out of my control" and therefore relinquish themselves from the guilt associated with consciously choosing to ignore or stick to our goals. Saying “it’s out of my control” helps us rationalize the situation and relieve ourselves of fault. So first ask yourself, do you really want to be in this position? If so, enjoy and accept the holidays as a wave rushing over you. But please don’t expect sympathy from others when you say you can't control yourself.

This time of year, we often ask ourselves, “what choices do I have?” So many distractions related to the holiday season feel like obligations. They take form in happy hour invites after a stressful work day, stuck in rush hour racing to finish last minute shopping, debating whether to take that 6pm gym class, trying to appease both sides of the family, obsessing over the "perfect" holiday card, passing by the work break room for the 5^th time “unintentionally”, the list goes on an on. Basically, choices exist whenever you take an action that creates a situation for a decision. Ultimately these are all choices within your control-- no one is forcing you to compete with holiday shoppers, giving you ultimatums about the holiday parties or forcing you to walk by the cookie laden break room.

All of these activities involve a choice on your part. When you find that you are stressed about certain decisions, consider the following:

1. What is the benefit if I say “yes”?
2. What is the con if I say “no”?
3. Are the results/repercussions worth the enjoyment/immediate gratification that I will gain now
4. What’s the worst that could happen if I chose to say yes (this relates especially to the family holiday conflict)?

Referring to the impediments mentioned in my last blog – let’s address quickly the choice in each of the examples below.

• Winter weather deters the motivation to exercise. – Choose to do it less to reduce the pressure. Work out with a buddy or sign up for a paid class to increase accountability. Find an alternate exercise that you will enjoy. After all, working out is supposed to be fun.
• Daylight savings – Shift your productive hours to daylight hours. Allocate two nights per week to going out in the evening (or whatever time frame that will fit your schedule).
• More sleep. We need it. It’s winter.  Choose to sleep more or not. If choosing less sleep, realize the repercussions. Check out this recent article from MindBodyGreen on impediments to weight loss with reduced sleep.
• Encroaching social events – choose those that fit within your schedule to allow you to reach your goals. Weigh the effects if you do or don’t go. Put yourself first. Make a rule – one party during the week and one on the weekend. Leave time to restore.
• Competition to be the “hostess with the mostess” for holiday get-togethers. The choice here is to be true to yourself and not be defined by others’ perceptions. Choose what is within your means & focus on it. Perfect it. Figure out what you will do the best and make it work for you. You will be surprised at how the authenticity will lead to an even better than expected result.
• Competition between families – If the dual family holiday takes it toll on you, then communicate that to your family. Holidays are supposed to be about giving, understanding and loving; not guilt tripping when one doesn’t attend an event or family gathering. Your rested self is a lot more attentive, focused and enjoyable when not pulled in several directions. Choose the number of family gatherings you can accomplish without overwhelming yourself.  Your family will appreciate the un-devoted attention you provide. Then next year, choose the other family.
•  Drink, eat, be merry – understand when you make a choice to have not, you will have another time. Choose that glass of wine here & not there. Choose to have one dessert as there will be plenty more another time. Choose to pig out because at another party you won’t. It’s within your control.
• Coworkers & vacation times –Choice at work is difficult since that is one area outside of your immediate and sole control. However, choose to not to be like others and cram too much in. Communicate farther in advance. Preface emails and requests with reminders of the impending holidays. Manage the expectations. Then accept that it will get more hectic as we get closer to Christmas.
• Traffic –choose a different route, a different time. Maybe early morning, lunchtime or first thing Saturday morning. Shop online. Or make DIY gifts. Put a reminder in your calendar during the summer to scope out gifts. Or try another alternative to gifts, which leads me to Stage 3: alternatives-- understanding alternatives can assist with accomplishing and having choices.