Now, married and with a 1 year old, I get it.
A year has almost passed since our daughter was born and I ask myself “Am I fully recovered? Is my husband?” Maternity coverage would have been over 9 months ago and I reflect on that time with a fog and haze. Does it really take 3 months for one to recover; physically, mentally, emotionally? I know that this 3 month maternity thing is a concept to return women to the work force to make money to keep up the cycle of buying. I know many woman don't have a choice on whether to return or not, but that’s not the argument I’m tackling here, rather is our body - in all forms and ways - “healed” after 3 months?
I can only talk about myself, so hopefully in doing so I'll spurn some questions about your own wellness recovery after a life changing event, trauma or even set back and the choices to get yourself back on track.
Physically I had a very intense labor - both types really – vaginal and cesarean. Even the nurse said, " You got the best of both" - jokingly of course. Prior to labor, I was in very good physical condition so I thought I would bounce back, be at the gym within 3 months and have my physical strength back with the hopeful added bonus of my physique despite breastfeeding.
Nope.
I underestimated birth, life, and my own state of mind.
I go to the gym maybe once or twice a week, but it’s not my priority and I find that going religiously isn’t necessary when not sitting at a desk all day. However, the last few months I have lost the last remaining bits of strength from my pre-pregnancy days which has resulted in more aches and pains. As the gym isn’t as feasible I’ve taken up some home workout videos (Jessica Smith TV). I despise exercising at home. Despise. However, I have mustered the motivation and found a video I like. Even my daughter has embraced it. So how can I not even try!
With a C -section it takes longer than expected to heal and varies for every woman. I was exercising on my own within the 3 month mark, however, now I understand why some things in the abs didn’t feel so good. Now my organs finally feel in place. A year later. Certain moves no longer feel odd nor have some aches a day later. Although, now I have to work harder on my abs to keep my strength up and back pain low. On the plus side, exercise through daily movement and actions has kept the need for the hamster wheel (gym machines) at a minimum. I have a little extra weight on me and I need to work on that strength and tone, but it will come. All in due time. Slowly. Organically. Naturally. When my body is ready.
This is the same emotionally, with self care, relationships with your spouse, your career - give everything time to understand the new you, adapt and modify to meet your new priorities.
My point? Priorities shift when your health has been adversely or traumatically affected so recognize when it is time to adapt. Use it as an excuse to figure out a new way to challenge your body, redefine it. Set new goals. But most of all, give yourself the break you deserve that it takes a year or more for a woman to “recover”...to feel herself physically. Mentally...that’s another story...ask me in 18 years.
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