Are you too busy to read this? Are we becoming a world of proficient failures? This is definitely a negative
spin on the basic idea that we are tackling too many skills, too many projects,
too many life goals simultaneously while not being present. Does this lead to half-finished
projects? Does this lead to the inability to complete a project, a goal, a
milestone; thus ultimately failure? Tackling too many projects, tasks, events,
jobs – trying to do what may not be feasible does affect our goals, our
relationships and ultimately our health – physically through stress.
These thoughts first originated from the following
questions, occurrences and articles. Do any of these ring true for you?
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Why is it we are supposed to work and pursue a passion on the side? When I say “passion”, I’m referring to an endeavor that’s like a starting a small company. This doesn’t mean hobby, this means something that consumes you, infiltrates your work time, your family time, and your self-care time.
Why does being “busy” become a badge? IS this a disease? A wonderful article on “Disease of Being Busy” opened my eyes to what I had increasingly sensed with actions such as having to schedule “appointments” to talk with my friends on the phone. What happened to just picking up the phone and calling? Also, when I was at my mom’s house she called up a friend around 11ish to ask to stop by in the afternoon. I, in awe, questioned this tactic’s ultimate success and even so far as to suggest rude as this friend probably wasn’t available. Her jovial reply was “Kirsten, my friend is of a different generation. We can do that.” Yeah…why do we think everyone doesn’t have a free moment spontaneously?
Seeing my mom and others above 60’s grapple with the lack of connection in REAL life. I am even sensing this remoteness when I see EVERYONE on phones, laptops, devices vs talking. And grew up in the 80’s. Recently discussing and learning about mindfulness as a stepping stone to developing an identity, focusing energies and increasing self-awareness. Being present. I’ve still got a lot to learn.
Pressure to have that ideal healthy body, workout more – and be proficient at it. Have ultimate skin and hair health. Half the time and I am texting, google mapping without gloves, that my fingers have frozen off and my hands looking cracked and worn. I’m flying out the house to the next engagement juggling family and work, that I forget the scarf to buffer my chin and neck.
WE are supposed to know everything about our food and what’s in it. Have the ultimate places to shop, eat at the tip of tongue or know what farm it came from or the best farmer’s market.Oh and afford it ALL – gourmet, local, organic, nitro, dripped, steeped, grass-fed, allergy-free etc.….
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Why is it we are supposed to work and pursue a passion on the side? When I say “passion”, I’m referring to an endeavor that’s like a starting a small company. This doesn’t mean hobby, this means something that consumes you, infiltrates your work time, your family time, and your self-care time.
Why does being “busy” become a badge? IS this a disease? A wonderful article on “Disease of Being Busy” opened my eyes to what I had increasingly sensed with actions such as having to schedule “appointments” to talk with my friends on the phone. What happened to just picking up the phone and calling? Also, when I was at my mom’s house she called up a friend around 11ish to ask to stop by in the afternoon. I, in awe, questioned this tactic’s ultimate success and even so far as to suggest rude as this friend probably wasn’t available. Her jovial reply was “Kirsten, my friend is of a different generation. We can do that.” Yeah…why do we think everyone doesn’t have a free moment spontaneously?
Seeing my mom and others above 60’s grapple with the lack of connection in REAL life. I am even sensing this remoteness when I see EVERYONE on phones, laptops, devices vs talking. And grew up in the 80’s. Recently discussing and learning about mindfulness as a stepping stone to developing an identity, focusing energies and increasing self-awareness. Being present. I’ve still got a lot to learn.
Pressure to have that ideal healthy body, workout more – and be proficient at it. Have ultimate skin and hair health. Half the time and I am texting, google mapping without gloves, that my fingers have frozen off and my hands looking cracked and worn. I’m flying out the house to the next engagement juggling family and work, that I forget the scarf to buffer my chin and neck.
WE are supposed to know everything about our food and what’s in it. Have the ultimate places to shop, eat at the tip of tongue or know what farm it came from or the best farmer’s market.Oh and afford it ALL – gourmet, local, organic, nitro, dripped, steeped, grass-fed, allergy-free etc.….
Own a house, or rent a sizeable apartment AND take care of
it. I wonder why I seem to have a film of dust and dirt unless I vacuum every
other day. But we don’t have a cleaning person. I realized that more and more
people have cleaning people – it’s becoming the norm. Not a luxury it once was.
The new expectation is a “clean –crate & barrel-appearing” house.
Have not just one, but two plus kids! This adds a whole
complexity to this proficiency of it all described above. Add another layer of
– best daycare, best activities, sleep, eat, play, shuttle, and interact. The anxiety just increased.
Well versed in all the travel destinations or activities
around your city, kiddo activities, beer festivals, music events. Oh wait, where’s
that app and my login info for all this info?!
Have a blog.
Start a business. Create an app. Spin-out a company based on
an idea. I find this ironic since everything can be found online thus reducing
the novelties of ideas.
Well-read in the latest NY Times best sellers, leadership
and management books, potty training or sleep books or self-development. Have
the time to finish books.
Amidst all this, watch the latest T.V. series, sports and
news. Thanks to DVR we no longer
sequester off time to watch as a collective whole – family, friends. We don’t
race to watch our 8:30pm show. Instead the on demand capability has allowed us
to watch T.V. when it fits our busy schedules. I miss those days in college,
when we would specifically sit together and watch – we made our schedule fit
the external needs, not adhering the world to each individual’s schedule. The
latter is a lot more challenging to arrange.
Even my business is about “FITTING Wellness IN” – because that’s
the amount of time we have for anything anymore.
Proficiency is achievable when we make the time, choose and
be present. When one person worked the other focused on family. When someone had
a family, they focused on the family. They put aside some activities and
pursuits and focused on raising that family. When someone worked, they worked,
when they went home or met with friends they were with their friends, not on
their phones being elsewhere – or caring more about updating followers of their
present location.
Life was slower, maybe we weren’t as ‘connected’, but maybe
we were more fulfilled, less harried, not feeling we were all at loose ends
racing for proficiency in too many areas.
We have become those resumes of people who put their kids into every activity, but excel at none. As a kid I was proficient in piano. It shaped and formed my identity. I learned many life skills from it – balance, perseverance, dedication, commitment, failure, accomplishment and most of all a skill. I also dabbled heavily in theater in high-school. Piano suffered. That was the beginning of the end of piano for me, which was fine as my life had move another direction. But I CHERISH I became proficient in something and now find myself pulled in several directions like so many in this post-postmodern world. I was present with piano and in return, it gave me multiple life –long gifts.
So I encourage you to re-evaluate what you find most inspiring, joyful, and necessary at this PRESENT moment. Pick. Focus.
There will be time for everything if you focus at one thing
at a time.
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